Thursday, 27 January 2011

What's new?

I am four weeks into the new year. I have taken over a meeting about a mile away from where I live. I am torn between fed up and ecstatic.

There is one meeting that I run that has been mine since I became a leader in January 2010. You'd think it'd be my baby wouldn't you, but it's not. I have been trying to build it up ever since I took it over. I have had mean members, clerks that slag me off behind my back and then leave, members that move to a different meeting at the same time/same night (i.e. some problem with me) been abused by the residents of the street where the venue is and harrassed once every month by the Yorkshire Countrywomen's Association - a group of women in their 60s and up who should know better but clearly don't. I've had someone collapse in my meeting, but never got a thank you for taking care of her..... I've helped people get to goal and never seen them again...

I'm feeling bitter tonight. I campaigned my little butt off 4 times in 2010 trying to build up a meeting where I am now pretty much convinced that they really don't care. I've even done a venue change, and I can't see any difference. My numbers are already down and it's January for heaven's sake.

The other two meetings, one which is building up quite nicely and one which is already just mahooooosive and two minutes from where I live, deserve my attention. I feel horrible for saying it, but it's true. I don't really see why I should waste my time with the other, when they don't really want to be there.

I just feel as if I'm letting my members down if I leave or have to close the meeting. But I don't know what else to do. It would be nice to have that evening back and not get so stressed out over things that are out of my control.